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  • Mike Goodrich

Episode 53 – Self Sabotage – A Personal Story


This is probably the most personal episode I’ve recorded and by far the longest!

So personal that I questioned actually releasing it.

If you have ever self sabotaged then I hope this will resonate with you.

In this episode I offer you what I do and some tools to help shift out of the pattern of self sabotage.

Also, some ideas on where this whole thing may come from – and why.

I hope you get something out of this one.

Thanks, and let me know…

Listen now. (-:

Download This Episode!

The Inner Singer Podcast

Episode 53 – Transcripts

Self-Sabotage: A Personal Story

Well, hello there, everybody. This is Mike Goodrich. Thank you so much for listening to the Inner Singer Podcast. Once again, welcome this week. I hope you’re well. I hope all is doing great.

I had a topic that came to me. Actually, I had a great, great person that’s on my list of subscribers that listen to my podcast, Sheryl, who sent me a link to a woman’s TedX talk on self-sabotage.

I have not in 52 podcasts really done an episode on self-sabotage. I’ve watched the video, and I thought it was really, really great, interesting. She gave some real personal stuff. It was really inspiring.

And so I thought—the first thing that came to me is, well, actually, maybe I should address this whole self-sabotaging issue with our singing because a lot of us have a tendency to do that. And then, I felt, “Well, I do do that. And I probably still do that.” So can I do an episode on something that even I still do?

I catch myself, and I thought, “Before I taught something, I always wanted to have it down myself.” I always thought that it was unfair to teach something or teach anything until you could really do it yourself, until you’ve mastered it.

And the funny thing is when I started teaching singing back—I think I gave my first real, real lesson that I actually charged money for was back about ’91. That’s about 25 years ago. That’s a long time. And back then, when I was teaching a tenor, and they were up on A’s, B-flat’s, B’s or whatever, I would have to play the scale that I wanted them to sing. I would have to play the scale in a key that I actually sing the high note in. I would usually top off at about an F# or a G in a scale that I could do in front of anybody with this technique—maybe an A-flat if I was feeling good.

So, I would play the scale. Let’s say an octave, [vocalizing]. I’d play that scale. On the top of my range would be the F#. I would sing it to there. And then, I’d play the chord on a B-flat and have them sing that because I couldn’t demonstrate it on a B-flat.

I was teaching—and really successfully. I was having great success with my students because I understood the principles. But because I have had some vocal baggage myself and some training that—I won’t say “bad training” because all my teachers were really, really well-meaning. But I interpreted some things probably not that well. I took them a little further than they were meant to be taken. So I take responsibility for the fact that I got myself in a little bit of a vocal mess.

And so, when I first started teaching, I thought, “Well, I really can’t… I shouldn’t be teaching. I can’t do this stuff yet like some of these great singers.” Some of my students can do it better.

But when I realized I was getting really, really wonderful results because I knew things that they didn’t know, and I’ve had experiences that they haven’t had, and I had a really good ear, I could be a set of ears for them, and I could point things out that they couldn’t hear themselves and they couldn’t feel themselves. Even if I couldn’t do it in my own voice quite yet, I knew I was on my way.

And I remember the first time I was able to perform a B-flat in a scale, I was actually on the way home from the gym. I took out my pitch pipe, and I played the scale, and I sang the B-flat, and it was really easy. I couldn’t wait for my next lesson for this tenor, David, to come in that day. I thought, “Well, I’m going to demonstrate in his key now. I can do this!”

And so he came in, we got all vocalized. And when it came time for that exercise, I put the B-flat, and I played the B-flat chord, I tried to sing it, and I completely crashed. I totally missed the note. I just started laughing. I said, “Well, I did it in the car on the way home.”

Well, eventually, obviously, I could do that incredibly easily. Cold, warm, it didn’t matter. It became a complete non-issue.

The point of this situation is in wrestling myself, should I do this thing on self-sabotage when I know that’s an issue for me—but I am keenly aware of it, which is cool. I thought, “What the heck! I can share ideas. And I can share my experiences.”

And if I feel that this podcast is becoming too self-indulgent, I just won’t release it. So I guess if you’re listening to it now, it didn’t become too self-indulgent. I don’t want it to be self-indulgent, but I do want to share with you experiences because I have learned in this life—and I’ve been around awhile now. And I’ve studied with a lot of people, I’ve studied voice with a lot of people, personal growth with a lot of people, I’ve studied everything with a lot of people. And I have found this.

The people that I have worked with that put on a façade of having it all together, don’t. If you pull back the curtain on their life, you will find that what they’re teaching, they might be a step ahead of you—a couple of steps ahead of you, a few steps ahead of us all—but there is something that they’re still learning.

We teach what we need to learn. That’s the old cliché.

And so you pull back the curtain on anybody’s life, and you see that it’s not al rosy even though they may portray that to the rest of the world. And to me, that’s not really transparency. And it’s just this side of dishonest if you’re trying to convince everybody that you really have it all together. So, I don’t want to do that.

Now, I don’t want to go to the other end of the spectrum and try and make it look like I don’t have some things kind of together. We all have some things kind of together. We all have some things that we’re working on a lot. So, I just want to really take the middle ground here and admit and be transparent with this, the whole self-sabotage thing—that it’s something that I have really, really become aware of in the last few years with my life.

And as I track it back and look at my dad’s life and my mom’s life—I can’t go much further than that because I didn’t really know my grandparents too well. But I did know my grandfather a little bit. I know of him, and I see it there. It’s really interesting to watch these patterns.

So, the things that I’m about to say as I’m talking about this stuff, perhaps, if this is applicable to you and you can reflect in your life how this may be somewhat similar, if you feel like at any time you’ve done some self-sabotaging in your life with an opportunity, with your voice, with singing, with performing, with audition, with whatever like that, then maybe some of this will resonate with you, and maybe this conversation will help in some way.

So anyway, here it goes. I remember a while ago, a few years ago—about 10 years ago actually—we were mentoring with a guy that took us roller-blading. I’ve mentioned this roller-blading story before, but it bears repeating. He took my wife and myself rollerblading.

I haven’t been rollerblading, and I haven’t been on skates for a hundred years. And so we get up on our rollerblades. The first thing, he looks at me and says, he goes, “Wow, Mike! You look like you’ve got the energy of an old woman. You’ve got the energy of your mother,” who, at that time, was 85. “Okay, that’s not what I want. That’s not good.”

So, anyway, we started skating. I’m trying to hold myself up. I’m flailing about. He’s getting next to me. We’re in Venice, California on the bike path. It’s a beautiful day.

All of a sudden, he says, “Come on! Go faster.” I was not able to go much faster. He says, “Well, I’m going to push you. I’m going to get behind you. You just relax. I’ll take a hold of you. I’m going to be right behind you. I’m going to just gently push your back, and we’re going to go faster and faster. You just relax and enjoy the ride.”

Well, we finally got up to a place that felt faster than I felt I could handle. And so, I told him to slow down. I said, “No, no, no. Slow down. That’s enough, that’s enough, that’s enough.”

And without missing a beat, he skated around fast in front of me. He turned around in front of me, so now he’s facing me. I’m going forward. He is now facing me. He is now skating backwards very easily at the speed that I was afraid to go any faster. I’m afraid to go any faster. I think I’m going to fall or something.

He points right in my face and he says, “That’s what you do in your life.”

I said, “What?!”

He said, “That’s what you do. ‘Okay, that’s fast enough. That’s enough success. That’s enough joy. That’s enough money. That’s enough of your voice. That’s enough this, that’s enough that.’”

Of course, at first, I was taken back and ticked off. I said, “Listen, it’s the first time I’ve been on roller blades.”

He goes, “I coach a lot of people. We get out here and roller blade, and they don’t stop me. They just spread out their arms and open into it and enjoy the ride.”

And I thought, “That is what I’m not doing in this life.” I am not stretching out my arms, expanding into it, opening into it, and enjoying the ride. I’m putting the brakes on. I’m driving with one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake. I’m sabotaging every aspect of my experience—whether it’s my voice, whether it’s my business, whether it’s my relationship with my wife.

I’m just being really, really honest here. My wife and I have a fabulous relationship. But I’m just saying, the inner stuff that’s going on with me, back then, I was just sabotaging every step of the way. I didn’t realize it. And that’s why when he first said it, it kind of ticked me off. Nobody wants that kind of stuff pointed out to them, especially if it’s right, especially if it’s true. “For goodness’ sake, don’t tell me that.”

But I really did take it to heart. I looked at it. And I, for these many past years now, have been opening to that and pondering that and seeing that in so many aspects of my life and beginning to be aware of it and beginning to recognize it.

Now, the first thing I went through is I got very angry at myself for having done that. “How could you be such an idiot? How could you do that? How could I…?” I’m talking to myself. “Why do I sabotage myself? I’m just like my dad.”

And by the way, disclaimer, I totally loved my dad. He was an amazing, amazing guy. He had a lousy childhood and a horrible upbringing. And it played it out in his adulthood in ways that he totally self-sabotage.

I won’t go into my whole family history. That would be completely boring to you. But where did he get that? Well, he got that from his mother, and he got that from his father who also was a tremendous self-saboteur.

And I’ll give you a little, quick story about my grandpa to give you a seed of how maybe a lot of this kind of started. And of course, he picked it up from somebody. We all learn these things unconsciously. This is one of the things that we talk about when we talk about the brain and all the wiring and the programming and the unconscious behavior that we learn and it operates below the level of our consciousness, conscious awareness.

I didn’t know I was doing this. My dad didn’t know he was doing this. My grandpa didn’t know he was doing this.

My grandpa was a comedian. He used to be—I think he was the funny part, and his partner was the straight man. But his partner was a guy named Sid Fields. And Sid Fields, you guys are way too young—even I’m too young to really know that name except through my dad.

But Sid Fields and my grandpa were partners in St. Louise, in Vodville. And there was an opportunity for them to go to New York. Sid wanted to go. My grandpa wanted to go. But my grandma wouldn’t let my grandpa go because she thought he would get involved with chorus girls. There you go! So my grandpa didn’t go.

Sid went. They broke up the act. Sid went to New York, became a famous comedy writer for Abbott and Costello. And his son, Sid Field Jr., went on to be quite well-known in writing as well.

My grandmother passed away. I don’t know how much longer after that, but very shortly after I was born, very shortly. And my grandfather passed away broke with a trunk full of his material that he never used. So he basically died with the music in him, right?

So, why did he do that? Why did he make that decision to not do what he wanted to do and follow his dream, just pack up the family and go? Why did he allow that sabotage? You can say all day long, “Oh, it’s my grandmother. She must’ve been a horrible woman.” But no, it was him. It was hime that allowed that to happen. It was he, I guess. Maybe that’s the proper English (if any of you are English teachers out there).

And then, my dad kind of followed suit with that. In the car business, he was in the car business.

When he first married my mother, he was a truck driver. He drove a concrete truck. But my mother didn’t want to be married to a truck driver, I guess. That’s what my dad said. And so he got in the car business, became a salesman.

To make a long story very, very short, he went from salesman to used car manager, new car manager, general manager to dealer. We went off to Hawaii and he ran a dealership. And then, he got his own dealership in Dallas, Texas.

Now, this is really interesting. This is a very interesting, little history in the Goodrich lives that I, at my age, with both my parents now again, don’t understand exactly what happened and will never understand exactly what happened. But my dad basically lost the dealership.

Somebody basically came into his dealership one day, and said, “This is my dealership.” Believe it or not, that’s the story I got.

So, what would be running through my dad’s unconscious brain to allow him to go up so fast in the ranks—he was really sharp, really intelligent. He was a great, great guy—a gymnast, a big, strong guy. What would allow that to happen? It had to be something going on in his unconscious programming that allowed that saboteur. Otherwise—

My dad was certainly—he was a big, strong guy. He was the kind of guy that would say, “Hey, dude, get the HE double sticks out of my dealership and don’t ever come back” instead of the story that I got, which I will never understand and don’t get.

And then, it was a story of my dad—who would not mind me telling you this because he’s gone, and he’s learned from this. I’m sure he’s doing amazingly well wherever he happens to be now. So he would not mind me sharing this experience.

And then, his career started going down the other side of the hill, taking the same trajectory it took on the way up, and eventually, back to being a car salesman—not that there’s anything wrong with a car salesman. There’s nothing wrong with being a car salesman. I know they get a bad rep—and some of them deserve it, believe me. But not so much anymore. It’s a pretty decent business.

But anyway, why did he go up so fast and then down so fast? It had to be his wiring, his programming, his saboteur. And why do I see myself doing the same thing? Why did I see myself in business doing the same thing? Why did I see myself in relationship doing the same thing? Why did I see myself with my voice doing the same thing?

Why did I get myself to the point where I could sing and do amazing things with my voice, just loving my voice, and all of a sudden, I start having these weird vocal trouble that has nothing to do with my singing, nothing to do with my technique at all, whether it’s reflux or allergy or whatever it is?

So, what is that? What is that self-sabotage thing? What is that that says, “Okay. No, no, no, no more” like when I was roller blading. What is that in me that says, “No. Okay. No, no, no. Don’t go any faster. Don’t give me any more of that. No, that was too good. I can’t take that much joy. I can’t take that much money. I can’t take that much…” What is that?

So, I’ve been looking at that for years. I have a feeling this is going to be a pretty long podcast. I should probably break it up, but I don’t think I will. I’m looking down and seeing we’re at 18 minutes, and I’m not even close to finish. Maybe I am, I don’t know.

But anyway, what is that? What the heck is going on?

Well, let’s look just for a second. And again, I don’t want this to be self-indulgent. This is strictly me being transparent, talking to you about an issue and something that if this has no bearing on you, you’ve turned it off already. If you’re still listening, this somehow resonates with you. And so it’s those people that I’m sharing this with.

It’s not that I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve or trying to talk about sad times. I have no real emotion about this stuff. I’m talking about it curiously. And those who are still listening, perhaps it resonates and perhaps this will be of some value to you.

So anyway, what is going on here with the self-saboteur? Why am I doing this? Who is doing this? What’s happening?

And so I started looking at my past. I started looking at where I might have taken on some of these unconscious wiring. What might this belief be? Why would I sabotage myself? What is the belief behind “Don’t give me anymore. That’s all I can take. I can’t go any faster. I can’t open up to this anymore. I can’t enjoy the ride here. Slow it down please. It’s too much”?

What would that be? What would that belief be if I could sum that up? Would it be “I’m not worthy”? I don’t know. Maybe there’s a little of that in there. What would it be?

And I started looking at my life, and I started looking at all these things. And I’ll tell you about a few of them, but not all of them. It’ll take forever.

But the thing that finally came to me was the belief—and this is what the belief, I believe, is running under all of these. There’s probably more, but this is the one that really resonates with me and came to me. And that’s this: good things don’t last.

Good things don’t last. There is no safety, and there’s no security. Don’t get used to this because it’s going to end.

And let me tell you why. Let me just give you a few examples of why this happened.

Now, if you were listening to this in your home with young children, I’m not going to swear. I just don’t swear in my podcast. I do swear, but not in podcasts because I know some of you may listen to these with family people. But I’m going to talk just about a couple of events.

They’re not hugely dramatic by any means. But you just want to be slightly forewarned that I’ll talk about a few things that if you’re listening with young children, you might not want to listen right now.

And again, it’s not a huge deal. Maybe I shouldn’t even say it. But I am saying it because these are a couple of things that happened when I was young, and they really affected me.

[Inaudible 00:21:58] really talking about it when you don’t expect it coming. I’m warning you that you should pause it now and listen to the rest later.

Okay, you’ve had time to pause it. If you’re still here, or if you’re back, here we go.

So, a lot of this really is not very dramatic. But the first thing is I was a ceasarean birth. So, for some reason, I turned around at the last minute. I take me out. Back in those days, they spank me, and immediately circumcized me, and probably vaccinated me. Now, that’s the first thing.

Now, if you circumcize your children—this is not me on any kind of a soap box. I’m just saying this is me looking at my life. This is not me in judgment. This is me looking at my life.

At some point, when I was one or two, I think my mom fell and I broke my leg. She was carrying me, and I broke my leg. These are just things that I’m looking at.

Now, between birth and about five or six,we moved somewhere around five or six times. I can remember a few incidences specifically, and they’re all really unhappy.

Now, my parents were great. I was an only child, so it was probably really tough.

I remember in one of those places, in one of those houses, I remember standing outside and watching our house burn because I have gotten up in the middle of the night to go in my bedroom with my parents and I had dropped a pillow on what should have been an illegal kind of nightlight and it caught the pillow on fire.

And so, my dad went in. He was thrashing about, trying to find me. He didn’t realize I was already in their bedroom.

So anyway, everyoned worked out fine. The room burned up. The fire department came. The whole house did not burn down. But it was a little bit dramatic.

And then, we moved more. In third grade, we moved from San Jose. I left all my bestfriends. My dad took a job down in Los Angeles, Anaheim, California. It was the worst year of my life. I got teased at school for being fat. I used to come home crying. I got braces. I got glasses. My birthday came around. All my friend had Schwinns bike, 10-speeds. My parents gave me a J.C. Higgins. I know that doesn’t sound like much, but I was just beside myself with “How could you give me this when all my friends have Schwinns?”

So, I’m just looking at all these stuff in my life.

Then we moved back, thank goodness. We moved back to San Jose. We move into a neighborhood. I could still go to my old school. I’ve got a lot of friends that are older now. And I’m on a baseball team. Oh, I’m in C league actually. First, I’m in C league.

All I remember about C league—my dad made me join, and I really didn’t want to—I was on a team and the bases were loaded. I was pitching, and I walked in the winning run. That’s all I remember about my whole C league career, walking in the winning run and losing the game.

Well, the next two years, I was in the major league. I started being really good at baseball. So that all worked out as far as baseball goes.

But here’s the part that I kind of warned you about that’s a little bit dramatic. This is the part that, if you haven’t paused it already, you may want to think about it if you have a child with you.

I had a buddy of mine on the team. We were 12. His 7-year old brother had a very, what you would call a “freak” thing happen, and he passed away. I remember my parents taking me to the funeral. I remember me seeing him there. I think that was really the beginning of a tremendous amount of trauma in my life because from then on, my life as a youth was pretty tough.

I won’t go into any of the rest of it. It came out the other end. But these are the things—and there are some more, I got bullied and different things like that—these are the things that I tracked back in my life. And like I say, there’s more.

And at the same, I was in a family with really, really loving parents. I had everything I wanted, probably spoiled. But then there was a lot of these other stuff going on, sort of more of the same with some people passing away and things happening.

And I was a very, very sensitive kid. I’m really, really sensitive as an adult. There are certain things I just cannot watch. If my wife were watching a movie—I mean, we were watching the fourth Harry Potter movie. There were a few things I just had to leave the room.

It was really interesting. I left the room the other night. And for the first time in my life, I felt really grateful for being sensitive. Usually, as a man, I have detested being sensitive. I, like most or many, was looking at it as weakness. “I’m a guy. I shouldn’t feel this. What a weak guy! Why can’t I watch this? Why can’t I…?”

I left the room, watching this scene that really, really pulled at me. I left the room. I remember going into my little boy’s room and starting to cry.

This is getting pretty weird, I know. But anyway, don’t worry about it. I’m saying this with a lightness.

But the point is as I was feeling that way, I was also feeling incredible gratitude for the first time ever in my life, feeling gratitude for being sensitive because I never felt grateful for being sensitive. I really felt that, “Wow! Not everybody feels this. Not everybody feels like this.”

So, this is the kind of kid I was. I didn’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t know that it was right. I didn’t have a father that was really sensitive. He was loving, but he wasn’t sensitive. I never saw him cry. I never saw him feel much, except he’d always put on a happy face. At his funeral, at the eulogy, everybody was saying, “Bob was such a great guy! He’s in such a good mood all the time.” And I knew what was happening in his life. Yeah, I was amazed that he was in a good mood all the time. I come to find, he really wasn’t. There was a lot going on.

And so, in my looking at all these, I feel like, “Boy! That little part of me has been really, really traumatized.”

But I didn’t go off to war. I didn’t do any of that stuff. But for some of us to be traumatized in our lives, it doesn’t take a war. We shouldn’t any more look at that as weakness because it really isn’t weakness. It’s a very special quality to be that sensitive.

And the sooner you recognize it in yourself and begin to honor it, the happier you’ll be. It’s certainly becoming that way for me the more I recognize and honor the fact that I’m really just a sensitive guy. I could cry at commercials, a Kodak moment or something. But really, I’m really like that, and the first time ever I was appreciative of it.

So now we’re tracking and we say, “Okay. Now, I’m getting an idea why I may have taken on the belief that good things don’t last.” I’ve seen a lot in my life, a lot, and at a very young age. Wouldn’t it be normal then to file that belief and to not really want to believe it to allow it to go deeper and deeper and deeper until there’s no awareness of it?

So now, I’m running around and I’m going through my life as an adult—a young adult and an adult, quite an older adult now. And below the level of my conscious awareness is this belief that good things don’t work out.

And believe me, I had all kinds of evidence back when I was a kid to validate that. That was a really smart thing to come up with because I saw it over and over and over again. I saw my dad going from job to job. I saw a lot of stuff.

And so it was a very smart decision for a young child to make, “Good things don’t last. I better base my life on that. Don’t get too attached to anything. Don’t expect to be too good at anything. Don’t expect…”—fill in the blank.

So, what can we do with this information? How does this benefit us to know this now? What can I do with that little part of me that really has the best intentions in the world?

What is that little part trying to do? What is that little 11-year old guy that stood in line to go into sixth grade—and I can remember it like it was yesterday—and for the first time ever, one of his “friends” told him he had a really big nose, and for the first time ever, this little guy—me at the time—thought, “Wow! There’s something wrong with me. What’s wrong with me?”

So, what is this little part trying to do for the bigger part of me now by sabotaging? Is it trying to hurt me? Is it trying to ruin my life because, obviously, for years, I tried to get rid of that part of me? “I got to get rid of this part of me. And then I’ll be happy.” What’s that part really trying to do?

Well, bless his heart. He’s trying to keep me safe, and he’s trying to keep me from getting hurt again. He’s trying to keep me from feeling those horrible things that I felt when I was a kid. So, that little part of me is really loving and really trying to help me and really trying to keep me safe and trying to keep me from ever experiencing those things again.

What does that little part of me need that it wasn’t getting at the time? It needs to feel safe. He needs to feel safe, accepted, love, cared for. He needs to know that it’s okay to have those feelings. It’s okay to be scared and terrified and to be held and to be loved and to feel like it’s safe, he can have his feelings.

So, what does that little part need more than anything? Love, acceptance and compassion. That’s what it wasn’t getting.

Now, again, it wasn’t because my parents weren’t loving and accepting and compassionate. But they didn’t know this was going on. They did not know this was going on even though they were causing a lot of it by bringing me into situations that I was too young to be in.

Now, some of them just happened in our family and in our life. And that was not their fault at all. I was just there. The wrong place at the wrong time, right? No, I was just there. There’s nothing they could’ve done. And so, on some level, maybe I created that to learn this and to—

And I don’t mean that from a suffering way. But maybe I’m supposed to learn that safety and security come from something other than what I always thought it came from.

But for now, that little part of me needs love, acceptance and compassion. And if he can get that kind of attention and feel safe, and I can bring him along into these situations that he would ordinarily be very afraid of, and he would want to sabotage these situations to help keep me safe or himself safe, then perhaps we can go together and we can say, “It’s okay, it’s okay. We’re going to go do this. You’re going to be okay because I’m here with you,” and treat it like a little child that never got the love, the compassion and the acceptance that he really needed.

So, this is how I am dealing with self-sabotage, becoming as keenly aware of it as I can, investigating with curiosity what the belief might be that’s hidden, that’s something that I don’t know. What’s operating down there? What programming am I being run by that I don’t even know was there?

So, by looking through my parent’s life and my grandparent’s life and seeing the similarities of my life, then not wanting to be on that trajectory in life, and then remembering what Carl said about the roller blading and saying, “Why am I doing that? Why am I doing that?”

So, there you go! I hope that wasn’t too intense for you. Now, if you’re listening to this, then I decided to release it. In my mind, I don’t even know if I’m going to release this thing right now because I don’t know if it’s just too heavy.

If I do release this, and you are listening to it, I’d love your feedback. If you say, “Yeah, I don’t want to know that much,” then I totally get it. That’s totally fine. But if it helps you and resonates, I would love to know that as well. Putting this out there in public for anybody’s consumption is kind of weird. I mean, it really is. It feels kind of weird to be sitting here in my studio talking until I get teary, having to pause the machine, sharing the deepest part of my life with, honestly—I have the greatest respect for everybody listening to this podcast, but I don’t know most of you obviously. So, this is kind of weird. It feels weird to do.

But on some level, it feels great to do, and I’d recommend it to everybody. This is part of my healing. This is part of my journey. This is part of me expanding more into my life. This is weird and scary and “Should I put this out?” and all of that. It’s like, “Well, why not?” People can always say, “I don’t like it,” and I can always take it down. No harm, no foul, right?

Anyway, this is exceedingly long at 37 to 38 minutes. It’s the longest one I have ever done. And the funny thing is after I did the last one, I had this really interesting sense of completion. I said to my wife, “I think I’ll do more podcasts, but I don’t know if I’m going to do them every week anymore because I’ve done 52, I’ve done a year’s worth.” That was my commitment to myself, 52, to do a year’s worth of podcast. I thought, “I don’t know if I want the responsibility of having to get one out and having to have a topic.” And all of a sudden, this topic jumped right into my lap, and I said, “I’ve got to talk about this.”

Ironically, this is the longest podcast I’ve ever done. This is almost two. This almost takes up two podcasts.

But I’m going to release it as one, as silly as that might be. Maybe nobody will listen to it. Anyway, part of me hopes nobody does.

But anyway, we’ll talk again soon. Thank you so much for listening. Please give me your feedback. I hope this was beneficial for you. And if you’ve heard it, I released it. There you go. Bye bye!

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